For those who have blown it with your older or grown kids and
it is obvious, do not say, “We did everything. We took them to church and youth
group. We even enrolled them in Christian Schools.” There is likely a real and
screaming reason why your children are in rebellion. Find it. Confess it to
them. Ask them for forgiveness.
Your asking for forgiveness is the first step in
their restoration. It does two things. First, it places the ball in their
court. If they grant real forgiveness, then the reason for their bitterness is
gone. The barrier that kept them from God is now removed. Even though they were
not justified in their sin and rebellion, they felt like they were. By asking
their forgiveness, you remove the immediate stumbling block for them to come
back to the faith. You put the ball in their court and give room for the Spirit
to work on their hearts.
Furthermore, in order for you to ask their
forgiveness, you will have already asked God’s forgiveness. God freely grants
it. This enables you to go to them in true humility. This also enables you to
leave the future consequences up to God. You cannot redeem yourself through
regret and reproaches. Freely receive and freely give forgiveness.
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