Colossians 3:18-4:1
Wives, Husband, Children, Workers, Masters
12/30/2018
Lynchburg, Virginia
EXHORDIUM
I suppose now we finally get to the subject matter that many of you were hoping to hear. How am I to be a good Christian wife, husband, child, parent or worker or boss?
We always want to run ahead to the practical teaching before we spend time in the Biblical, doctrinal or theological teaching. We have already spent several sessions looking at who Jesus is, what He requires of us and how we are to conduct ourselves in the life of the church.
If we rightly understand who Jesus is and who we are in Him, then by the time we come to the very practical how tos of marriage and family, the hard work is already done for us.
Jesus is the ruler of everything. This means that He rules me. He rules you. When we submit to His rule, we have a new orientation to all things, particularly heavenly and earthly things. Or shall we say, spiritual and fleshly things. Our desires start to line up with His desires and we begin to live the life of the Spirit.
This life of the Spirit does not just govern our lives in the church, or Sunday worship, but is to be pushed out into all the corners of our lives. As the last section told us, Do everything that you do for the sake of Jesus.
So, we ask the Bible, How shall I be a wife, a husband, a child, a parent, a worker, a boss. And the Bible says, “Very glad you asked, thanks, I’ve got an answer for you.”
EXEGESIS
Col. 3:18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Wives are to submit to husbands. We are told elsewhere, she is to submit in all things. He adds, as is fitting in the Lord. It is fitting for wives in the Lord to submit to their husbands. This means that it is unfitting when Christian wives do not submit to their husbands. It is unbecoming, ugly.
A woman, like all people, is under authority. Her direct authority is her husband. She should be pleased to honor him through submission.
No earthly authority is absolute. She is to submit to him in everything but her submission ought to be a fitting submission. He cannot cause her to sin. In areas where the husband is leading the wife or the family into sin, she should refuse to submit to that. But when she does so, she must still be in submission to authority. Thus, she should go to the fitting authority over her husband in the area where she cannot fittingly submit. If he is beating her, she should go to the police. If he is mistreating her in sinful but not harmful ways, she should go to the pastor and elders of the church. That way, she is not in rebellion. She is seeking to be under a proper authority and she can also hold her husband accountable to his proper authorities.
19Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Wives are to respect and submit to their husbands. The Bible does not tell the wife to love her husband. She generally does and is good at it. She needs to work on respect.
The husband, conversely, is told to love his wife. The apostle gives a negative example of how to love. Don’t be harsh. Don’t be piercing, scolding, cutting. A husband is to love his wife in a gentle and understanding. Just as he needs respect from her, so she needs love from him.
This love should be patient, gentle, understanding, kind. Those characteristics are all opposed to harsh. Harshness in husband towards his wife will embitter her. Let not such a man expect to receive much honor and respect from her.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Children are to obey and this is the first command with a promise. Honor thy father and they mother; that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Children are to obey their parents in all things. Of course, as mentioned with wives, no earthly authority is absolute. Some parents are wicked and children should not obey when wicked parents command their children to sin.
Children, keep in mind the admonition to slave. Do not obey your parents only in action and not in heart. Some children do what the parents want them to but inside are complaining and grumbling. In such a case, you do not really get the benefit from God for obedience. Your attitude has made that obedience sinful.
21Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
The sense here is to provoke to anger as it says in Ephesians. Anger is the most common way to provoke to anger. An angry father is going to have angry children. Are your children prone to anger? The first place you should look is how you treat them. Be patient. Command with gentleness and kindness.
Discouraged children become complacent. Often such children become bitter and leave the service of Jesus altogether. Fathers, this is an important point. If you are prone to angry outbursts that discourage your wife and children, you should go to them today and confess your sins and ask their forgiveness. And in the future, whenever you burst into anger, confess and repent. A few times of this and your behavior will change dramatically.
When your behavior changes dramatically, you will then also see much better behavior from your wife and children. There will be much more respect and obedience. So, take care of yourself first and the Lord will take care of them.
22Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters,6not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
Quite a long section for bondservants. We are talking here about slaves. It makes sense that he needs to give them more admonition as they have the hardest condition. How are Christian slaves to treat their masters? Obey them in everything. And not merely to keep out of trouble, honoring with the eyes but despising in the heart. No, he requires them to truly serve their masters for their master’s good. This is a hard teaching for a slave.
Why does he require this? Because their true master is Jesus Christ and all service they give their earthly master is credited as service to Jesus. This is true for all of us in all of our various conditions, whether wife, husband or child. We should treat our wives well because we are husbandman for Jesus. Does Jesus look upon your husbandly behavior with pleasure? Have we even thought about that?
Earthly masters may not give you much of a reward. A slave usually earned nothing for his work. But the Lord rewards handsomely.
He points out that the wrongdoer will be paid back and there is not partiality. I believe he is referring to the slave as the wrongdoer if he undermines his master. But the verse works both ways. If the master is the wrongdoer, then the Lord takes note and will also reward him accordingly.
Col. 4:1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
He reminds the masters who are in authority that they are also under authority. Let every authority remember this. Many in authority like to lord their authority over those beneath them, whether husbands over wives, mothers over children, older siblings to younger ones, masters to slaves, or pastors and elders to congregants.
He points out how foolish this is. Since all the authorities are also under authority, then they should treat others the way they want to be treated. If you mistreat those under you but expect those above you to treat you justly and fairly, then you are nothing less than a hypocrite. Remember how you expect your authorities to treat you and then treat those under your authority that way.
EXHORTATION
I think we already know how we are to behave as husbands, wives, children, parents, workers and bosses. The Spirit leads us in the way of righteousness and we have to resist His work in us to act against our various duties.
So, how do we change? We recognize who we serve, the Lord Jesus. We submit all that we do to Him. If we really believed that Jesus was Lord and was watching over all of our actions, then we would be less inclined to think we can get away with our sins. We need to cultivate the mindset that Jesus is with us always in all of our various duties.
This starts with theology, right doctrine but it does not end there. Through daily prayer and practice of the presence of God in our lives, we can put to death the deeds of the flesh and live more and more unto righteousness.
There are a few keys to this.
1. Confession
2. Repentance
3. Forgiveness
4. Gratitude
I remind you that all of these elements take place in our Covenant Renewal Worship Service. If you are truly worshipping God on our Sunday morning, then, at the very least, you confess, repent, are forgiven and then come to the Lord at Communion with gratitude. That is the pattern and if you even did it faithfully once a week you would be dramatically changed. There is efficacy in such means of grace.
And the Lord calls us to more than just Sunday observance of these things. The primary place you can make sure your family is in fellowship is at your dining room table as you eat meals together. Fathers, make sure the family is in real fellowship together. Are there issues that need addressed? Sins confessed, forgiven? At your tables, there should be real family fellowship without any outstanding sins blocking the way. If you did this daily, then I have no doubt that wives would submit to husbands, husbands would love their wives, children would be obedient to parents, servants would serve as unto the Lord, masters would treat their servants fairly and justly. So, practice at the table!
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