And this was the back of the bulletin. Certain members of my family thought this was very funny, laughing hilariously. Others simply smiled, barely, and said it was very funny.
Here you go.
Bulletin, Page 4.
Dinner Reception Following our Ceremony- For your opportunity to mill around and network, maybe pick up some important contacts, speak to the Valedictorian, or simply snatch some free food and drink, we invite you stay after the ceremony and join us for food, fun and frivolity.
Rebecca is glad that you made the effort to see her off to her new beginning.
For those of you with small children, please make sure their lives are as full of joy as Rebecca. This do and thou shalt prosper.
When you are sad, think of Rebecca, and smile.
Graduation gifts are not expected, nor are they refused. It is cold in Moscow, even Idaho, so if you have a ratty old jacket, you can keep it, and simply contribute to the “Keep Rebecca Warm Without Jump Starting Global Warming Fund.” Envelopes will be provided in the burger line.
Rebecca is an expert on Polly Pockets. If you have any girls thinking about investing in this worthwhile purchase, please contact her ASAP. This is vitally important, the ASAP part, because her plane leaves on Tuesday, and if you have to make a purchase, the decision-making process is quite arduous indeed.
Moscow, Idaho is Mosc with a long-o. Moscow, Russia is Moss with a cow. That makes N. Idaho seem like a Muslim land and Russia seem like a farmyard. Not sure Russia has many Moscs but I’m pretty sure N. Idaho has a lot of cows.
NSA students read a lot of books. This makes them really smart. It also does a great deal of damage to their eyes. After all, it gets dark at 4:30pm in Idaho in the winter and since that part of the country has not yet received electricity, the lamp reading is really tough.
I am sure a goodly number of young chappies, as Rebecca might say, will be looking her way, even before their eyes are damaged. May her reading then, improve her vision, and not make her look back with dimness of eyes.
Rebecca’s brothers and sisters would like to send her a loving fare thee well. They are sad that she will not be at dinner table but they, of the silver lining disposition, are very much looking forward to a 1/8 increase in the overall amount of available dinner-time nourishment.
If the good life is a bowl of peaches, then we have had a Georgia orchard full with our blessed years with Rebecca. We love you.
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