Friday, July 10, 2009

Woe is Me

I've been gone for awhile, both in body and mind. It takes two to tango.

I was put in my place today, again, as if I needed it. I saw an old woman, broken, probably by multiple strokes, pushing her cart past BB&T. I'd hate for her to see me write about her thus but she'll never see this blog anyway. To say she's an inspiration falls short. She does more than inspire. She shames. She humiliates. She scorns. She jests. She scoffs. She jokes and laughs lives.

I've been gone for awhile, in body and mind, because I've a body that doesn't mind.

She has a body that doesn't mind, either. It's way more broken than mine. Her arm doesn't work. Her legs barely do their duty. Part of her mouth looks like it has trouble with it's designed function. But she's there, shuffling along, shaming all the whole bodies, slightly broken. She is not complaining. She lives. I don't know her. Maybe she does complain. Maybe she'd like somebody to drive her somewhere. But she walks through my life, a constant reminder that things can always get worse and when they do, what do we do?, we live.

I know this sounds a bit twisted but I see it as grace. God is watching me and her. He smiles at one and shakes His head at the other. Guess which is which? But His head shaking is not disgust, at least I hope not because I am the recipient of the gesture. It's more like a father shaking his head at his son when he tries to his ride his big sister's bike but is too small and too stupid to get it done. He thinks he's big stuff but he's not even big stuff enough to be like his older, and still stupid, sister. The head shaking will end one day and smiles will follow.

Anyway, I did a bit of reading while I was away. Some good, some not so and giving my goneness in body and mind, not sure if I benefited much. But I do think that I am the better for it all. God as my witness.

I promise I'll try to live better.

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